A Perusal of Tarot

 

I received my first Tarot deck when I was 11 years old. It was a gift from my brother who had been in New Orleans. He also gave me a drawing done on parchment of a voodoo protection that I was fascinated with, but did not pursue Voodoo like I did the Tarot.

As a teenager I always different from other kids and ... people in general. I would go into a local bookstore and look at their tarot cards- planning on which ones I would buy when I could.I remember thinking, "I should get the most traditional one to start out" so Rider-Waite it was.

I bought a tarot deck called The Aquarian Tarot. I liked the artwork that was very freestyle sort of water colors, yet it kept the same traditional aura of the Rider Waite deck, which I had been just starting to use- The Aquarian deck was much more me at the time, artsy, different, esoteric.

I went on to get a Crowley deck and other strange decks as well- trying to find the "right'' one for me- but after all of them I came back to Rider-Waite. It was clear and concise and I have a true rapport with it.

I mainly did readings for myself, and close friends. I had no idea how long and how important my relationship with Tarot would become.

As a young adult, if I traveled, I took my cards. If I spent the night at a friend's house, I had my cards with me. For any kind of choice, or confusion, I pulled the cards out. For the rest of my life I would have this connection. Right up to today.

I have been a member of an esoteric order that utilizes Tarot as a means of enlightenment and attainment of higher States of Consciousness.

And I just recently rejoined the Order as I feel it is the only way to see us our of the turn of our events lately -worldwide. 

Inner work is always the first step.

ReBoot

 I haven't posted this blog for years and years.

Since we have now entered into the X-Files era of history, I decided to get back at it.

First- al title background (for the FBI and CIA when they come to read this)

We got through the dark part of my history of life on this planet "the pandemic", in which our lives were turned inside out ad upside down for 2 full years. I'm not gonna comment on that in this post, which is merely a re-entry. 

But, we got through it.

We got through an election of a new president. And now we have gotten through a midterm election.

None of these things were normal.

So I am going to start writing again. I am going to try to gather some helpful tips for getting through what looks to be  a very hard 6 years to the next millennia ahead.

My perspective is that of an old lady who was born in the 60's in America, the Land of Milk and Honey. Who had been able to take an otherwise doomed situation of being unlovable, autistic, impoverished and not smart about anything, and eek out a life of beautiful spiritual practice, dogs, to raise an amazing daughter and stay alive.

Now, I fear, we are in for the fight of our lives. A fight between Light and Darkness, a fight between Good and Evil.

Never has it been so clear.

It is indeed global. 

And it is indeed critical for humanity on this little planet.

I will be coming at this from a spiritual point of view. 

I do not own anything and have worked my entire life to stay alive.

I am not a survivalist, or farmer, or pepper or a homesteader or any of those things where I can actually produce my own little garden of eden and survive. I have a tiny dog grooming business that I have  eeked out so that I could be self reliant and pay rent and feed my dogs and myself.

Now, even that is under threat. It is more than alarmism. My guides have closed rank around me as never before and I can only surmise it is for good reason. It happened during this last election. 

They are here, they are unmistakably guiding me.

It is because of this I am writing again.  

 

Autumn, 2011

It is here.
The sun is lowing itself right into my eyes, and the Aspens are turning on the mountain.
A few weeks ago I was oh so mellow and grateful that I had experienced a plateau in the topsey turvey stumbling along of my life.
I never expect  people that have wronged me to come back for more, but they do. 
I honestly do not understand the attraction of reopening wounds and rubbing salt in them, not the effort anyone would put into it to do so. It is in my DNA I guess, but this has happened two or three times this summer.
I get that I am alone and unmatchworthy. I get that. I can live my life in relative happiness even though I do not have love. But Why does anyone think it is ok to reappear into someones life and drag them through the mud again?

What a good and true friend asked, and I ask as well, WHY are they reappearing, just as I settle into my life and find peace?

And these are relationships that I am NOT proud of, seriously.
I totally threw away time, energy and emotion on these ne'r do wells..And they made as much of a fool out of me as humanly possible to as many people as humanly possible.
I mean it is crystal clear there is no love lost there, yet they come back to do it again... ??

I am understandably confused.

I really have no reason to be so concerned about whether I am in any kind of relationship or if the ass clowns of the past come back, because I seriously have a good life. I am not wealthy, but I can live on my own, I rent a beautiful little adobe house in Santa Fe NM and am gainfully employed, fully insured and have a daughter who loves me whole heartedly. Honestly, you can't ask for too much more.


In truth these people are pretty unimportant.
Yes, I get mad and have rants about how cold and heartless they are, but...
Really, I am much batter off being away from them and I know it.


Happy New Year, Pagans!!

By Way of an Introduction.

I have been half in this world and half in other worlds since before I was born.

I believe this is the result of not only the circumstances of my birth, but being born into generations of women who were psychically  endowed.

My grandmother saw people who had passed and talked to saints and spirits all the time. She would see and speak to Jesus in times of distress. She was anything but a religious woman, she hated religion. She would see The Christ of God.

I remember when my grandfather passed, the lights would go on and off in rooms where no one was, and my grandmother would say it was my grandfather. She would tell stories of seeing her father after he passed and talking to this person or that person after they passed. My grandfather, too, claimed to have seen her father after he passed, walking around in the house where they lived. Where I lived later, as a sickly child.

Now this was in the 60's. It wasn't popular to talk about such things. There was no syfi channel, no Ghost Hunters tv show and John Edwards probably hadn't even been born yet.

My grandmother played solitaire on an old Ouija board. My brother still has it in his home. She read ordinary playing cards, as divination. She'd have me shuffle them three times and she would lay the entire deck out and divine the future. I remember being completely mystified by it. She would also read tea leaves and was very superstitious. These are the things I remember about her.

I think she would have loved my daughter. My daughter reminds me of her in many ways sans the meanness. And we have both dreamed about my grandmother on the same nights, even though my daughter never met her, she has dreams about her.

When I was a small kid, we used to take extended holidays in Santa Fe, where I now live. We would stay in a little guest house that was owned by a woman they called my God mother, her name was Lois. From what I remember of her she was very kind and funny. She was full of ghost stories too. We would get together with other relatives of hers and have seances and levitate big tables. These big oak tables would move clear across a room and dance on one leg as if they weighed nothing!

In my childhood, this was just what we did. There was nothing weird or unnatural about it.

The unseen was as natural as the seen.

I suppose that is why I had such a propensity for the occult sciences and shamanic realms. Early childhood exposure.